I admit...after a long day at work, I come home and am exhausted and and am more on edge with the family than I should be. I hate this and am really trying to work on it within myself. Today was the same as usual. Got up at 5AM, went to work, came home and started with the normal household routine. BUT all day I have felt that something was different. Something within me was different. A positive difference. Matt left for school as usual and I awaited the boys arrival. They came home, hugged me and had smiling faces. This made me smile. The household was calm and at peace at a time when it's normally crazy. Homework and seeing who can get outside to play the fastest. Not today. It was so nice.
We talked over dinner(as usual), then Ethan wrote stories of how to make a root beer float as I taught Corbin how to play solitaire. All the while Taya running a muck.
Side note before we move on...I am so pleased to say that Ethan brought home his progress report and has STRAIGHT A's!!! This is the first time in his school career that he has made straight A's. It kinda reassures me that we made the right decision moving here.
Now, back to the story...
I believe the difference I started feeling started yesterday in church. It was a powerful message that stuck with me all day. Long story short, it was about how if you keep God the focus of your day, your night, your life...you will be okay. Marriages are tough but if you have God at the fore front, the rest will work out. The Anchor Holds, In Spite of The Storm. This leads me to tonight.
As Corbin and I played, I decided to listen to my itunes on the computer. Songs came on and we listen but then something magical happened. A song came on and Corbin stopped what he was doing-which at this time was turning circles in the kitchen-and said "Oh mom, I remember this song. I really like it"...then he started humming the tune. He has heard this song ONE time...for 4 minutes, at church, 2 months ago. Our old neighbors that have become missionaries in China were in town telling about their journey thus far and this song was on the video they were showing. When I heard the song then I got chills...BUT after hearing my son hum the tune with such pride and ease, I got even more chills. Not only the fact that a song could stick in the mind of a 7 yr old but knowing it was so heartfelt by him was an awesome feeling as a parent. As I secretly watched him hum, I noticed he eventually started singing the words. He saw my face and stopped...embarrassed. I then played it over and over...listening to every word. Corbin came and sat by me and as I held him tears filled my eyes. How could I ever be so frustrated, so exhausted, so at my wits end from all the stress in life that I would ever take it out on my kids? I know we all do it from time to time but how unfortunate. Hearing this song just made the feeling I have had all day that much more powerful. Is it ironic or was it exactly what I needed right when I needed it? I am not a big fan of irony...I fully believe this was God speaking directly to my heart. The song is called "No Sacrifice" by Jason Upton.
"To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to, To you I sacrifice the dreams that I hold on to. Your thoughts are higher than mine, your words are deeper than mine, your love is stronger than mine, This is no sacrifice, Here's my life."
To hear the full song, copy and paste the link below. I hope it does for you what it has done for me:-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yxw3z-oD7ZE
