Sunday, March 6, 2011

Unexpected Inspiration

Today we were with some family and friends and had an unexpected thank you. We all go through things in life and especially in marriage that we are never prepared for. Whether it be little lives being created, the meshing of 2 lifestyles into one or the numerous financial whoas, you can never be prepared for what a marriage is going to be. All are different and all are difficult in one way or another. Marriage isn't always pretty. It isn't always a fairytale. It isn't always flowers and butterflies. The ugly truth is that it can be down right ugly. It can be spiders and snakes. Matt and I at a young age realized this. We still realize this more and more as the years, days in fact, continue to go by.

A young couple just starting out, one in school, the other working endlessly trying to make ends meet. They get married, high on life and love. Excited to see what God has in store for their future. They have some unexpected issues and start to question the choices they made. They know all along they are in love and this will last but sometimes just talking to someone who has been through the trials and tribulations is the reassurance they need for pressing on. Matt apparently had a talk with a young man a while back and told him not to give up and to stick beside his bride and their marriage. Well today, that same young man came up to Matt and told him thank you for the advice. He told him that Matt and I and our marriage are an inspiration to him. This warms my heart. Knowing you could help someone out so much by doing something so little is true gift from God. A lot of people see(and hear) about the bad times but are rarely ever around to see the many, many good times so when someone tells you they respect you for what you have gone through and overcome, it puts a sense of pride and accomplishment in you. I often think that we would be so much better off had we not been thru the sheer crap we have. The truth is we are better people for making it through it all. Matt is a better husband. I am a better wife and we are both better parents. I hate that marriages crumble without ever having a chance. If our life together and marriage, the good and the bad, can help just one other young couple conquer the devils need to have their marriage fail, then I feel like everything we have gone through in the past 12 years was absolutely worth it. Every tear and every smile. You take the good times despite the bad. You accept each others faults and love each others differences. That is what a marriage is. That is exactly what our marriage is. You add 3 screaming, demanding, loud, crazy kids to the mix and the greatness only multiplies.

Today we got an unexpected "Thank You". Today we got an unexpected start.

Monday, February 28, 2011

My Life...In A Great Song

I heard a song last week that is just perfect. Perfect for me and all the other mothers and wives in this crazy world. It reminds me that just because I may not understand why God does the things he does, that he ALWAYS knows what he's doing and EVERYTHING he does in making us all stronger people. Inside and out. I do loose sight of all the greatness I do have in my life. This song reassures me that their is one person bigger than us all and he alone makes us who we are. God will never put you in a situation, you aren't strong enough to make it through.

Go to the website below and click the "Play" button on the right hand side. The song is "This is the stuff".

http://www.francescamusic.com/?psid=SEMpreorder01

These are the little faces I get to wake up to every morning and the little cheeks I get the privilege of kissing goodnight every night.

How can I not feel immensely blessed?

TAKS

Well, It's that time of year again where the kiddos must endure the dreaded TAKS test. Corbin is still too young to have to take it(he will get that joy next year in the 3rd grade) but Mr. Man Ethan is taking it for the second year. Last year he did great. We were very proud. It's a hard stinkin' test and he passed with no problem. We are hoping for the smae outcome this year. Fingers Crossed!

For those of that pray, please say a quick prayer that our little man does just fantastic:-)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Realization

As I sit here with the kids eating dinner, listening to them talk about their day and what all they want to do, I realize how stupid I am. There are a ton of reasons for me to be stressed and bitter but triple the reasons I should be thankful. Thankful for them, thankful for my husband and thankful for the life we've made. Thankful for my parents, my brother and my niece and thankful for the few friends I have in spite of myself. I have so many reasons to be proud but most of the time those are overshadowed by the few reasons I am disappointed. I'm disappointed in the mom I am, disappointed in the wife I've been and disappointed in the person I have become. I don't know where I went wrong or what the heck happened. Just know that somewhere I lost sight of myself. I lost who I was. Outgoing, full of life, always happy. Now I'm just bitter and full of negativity. Maybe the numerous bad decisions I have made over the past few years are taking their toll. I love where I am but I can't help to think, where would we be if I had made better choices...financially and otherwise. I feel like I neglect everything in my life. My kids, my marriage and my family. All for no good reason at all. No reason other than shame. Shame of how I make them feel and shame of how I think they all see me. And why shouldn't they, I've done them all wrong time and time again. The person at the brunt of all my stupidity is my husband. A man who has stood by me through it all. Through every dumb decision after another. A man that would lay down his life for me. I have to stop and ask myself if I would do the same thing. I know I would...but do I act that way. Do I act like it enough for him to know it? I question that every day.

The fact that my oldest child is turning 10 in 2 months doesn't help matters. I want him to stay young and innocent. I want to shelter him from this sometimes cruel, hateful world but at the same time I want him to experience all the greatness life has to offer. I try to keep all my kids in a bubble but at some point that bubble is going to bust. I just need to be ready.

I realize the changes I need to make. As a wise man told me, I need to quit putting band aids on the problems and stitch them up for good. That's the part I have problems with. I see my issues and change them for a brief time. I get comfortable with things and revert back to the old ways. It will take time, but I will get there. I just wonder if it will be too late. My kids and marriage are still young so I have faith there is still time.

I have no idea why I decided to write this but it's been a rough week and sometimes it just feels better to get it all out.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Annoyed

Completely annoyed with life right now.

Woke up this morning and started my day taking BOTH boys to urgent care. BOTH have strep throat AND DOUBLE ear infections. Double Annoyed.


We got our electric bill today and for the SECOND month in a row nearly $500 and we keep our house cold. Annoyed.

Got some news that could affect my parents and brother causing them to potentially have to move next year. Won't know for sure for another week. Annoyed.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Picture This

Lately it seems Taya has been bitten by the clumsy bug.

Picture this: Matt and Taya riding bikes on the street outside our house. Taya was on her new 12' bike Santa brought her and Matt on Ethan's 20' bike. Matt was on the outside near the cars and Taya was on the creek side. This should have been a good idea. Not so much. Taya started to peddle. With every turn of the peddle she inched her way closer to the creek/ditch. Ya see, while peddling she was inadvertently turning the handle bars. It was like slow motion. Matt was up near her and I was on the front porch. There was laughter and smiles...for a brief moment. Taya headed straight for the mailbox(which is positioned in the ditch). The bike hit the mailbox head on, Taya flipped over the top of the handle bars and ended up head first in the ditch. It was quiet. We panicked...only for 2 seconds. After de-tangling herself from the wreckage, she poppep up and said laughing "I ok!" This was followed by the rest of us laughing hysterically and almost peeing my pants. Hilarious.

Picture this: Same day. This time in the back yard. Ethan was riding his bike. Corbin was playing with balls and Taya was playing T-ball. She had the bat. A real, metal bat. She swung a few times and missed. Then she swung with all her might, missed the ball, the bat flew around, hit her in the side of her head and she hit the ground. Again, we freaked. After 2 seconds, she again popped and said "Aw, I ok!", followed by more laughter.

Picture this: Same day. Literally, less than 3 minutes after the last accident or ac-i-cent as Taya calls it. She was still playing T-ball. She threw the bat down and began to run. As she took her first step, she tripped over the infamous bat, got it tangled between her feet and fell to the ground. At this point, I looked at Matt and said we need to go in. Again, laughing erupted. She was fine. Next day we were outside playing again and she began to limp. She would move her leg and scream. Apparently, one(or just maybe even all) events from the previous day sprained or pulled her thigh muscle.

I am glad to announce, 3 days later all is well and the bug seems to have moved on to some other unfortunate little gem.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

2011 Pro Bowl

As the Super Bowl approaches, we geared up with a night of Pro Bowl watching. Matt, me, the boys and tot. Good quality family time we all need in our lives. In this chaotic world we all live in, it's nice to share in the excitement that is football.

To fully understand my 360 degree switched opinion of football, you have to know Corbin. I mean REALLY know him. Other than he will one day be in the NFL, he can tell you all you will ever need to know about the who's who and what's what about the game. It's intriguing to listen to the passion that comes from this 8 yr old little man.

As we sat watching the game, I asked him if he wanted to be in the NFL when he grows up. He said yes, of course. He loves Green bay, the Steelers, Vikings and Cowboys. I asked who he wanted to play for and in perfect Corbin fashion he answered with "Well, I don't wanna have to drive far." So I said, "Ok, the Cowboys it is." I guess it didn't occur to him that they have planes for these things.

We all were rooting for the NFC. I have to say, I know very little about the game but I really, truly enjoyed that game. The end when the players were goofing off was the highlight of the evening. Loved it.






With the Super Bowl festivities right around the corner, our family took sides. Corbin and I are cheering on the Steelers and Matt and Ethan are Greenbay bound. Taya will cheer and hollar for whoever is cheering loudest at the time. This game is the start of a Ramey Super Bowl tradition. Ya see, who ever wins(me and Corbin) get to throw ice cream pies in the losers(Matt and Ethan) faces then wash them down with the water hose. Very excited about this!

Enjoy the game and may the best team win!