What It Really Means

So, I had a defining moment(multiple moments, really)over the weekend and today. This after having a fantastic weekend with my wonderful husband and children. Date night at the horse races Friday night(Matt has been a few times, but this was my first. Won the first race but lost the rest), lunch with the kiddos and my folks Saturday and a day at home chillaxin' with the fam yesterday.

Friday night on our way home we had a nice chat. Then once home, all comfy on the bed, more conversation(If you have kids, you know these chats are hard to come by). Much needed. Then today on my way home from work, I hear an old song on the radio that stopped me in my tracks(not really since I was driving-but you get the drift). The song was "My Best Friend" by Tim Mcgraw. Ya see, this song first came out right after we were married, almost 11 yrs ago. Back then, we were in love and only had each other(Or thought that was all we had). We were each others best friends. In fact, this was one of our songs. Corny, I know.

The fact is that the things/reasons you are best friends at 18/19 yrs of age and have really no responsibility/children are COMPLETELY different in your late 20's. Having 3 kids also plays a huge part. I guess from the start I always thought that being a good wife/best friend was just being in love and enjoying being together. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, as time passes and you mature and life changes, you must learn to change with it. I STINK at change. I always thought that a wife made made her husband happy by keeping a tidy house, having clean laundry, clean dishes, food on the table, healthy kids, fed kids and happy kids. I believe this because these are all the things my mom did and still does for my dad and my brother and I. Well, I have determined that this was all I saw. Yeah, my mom was always fun with us and I know her and my dad were best friends, guess I just never SAW that part or really fully understood it until now.

In listening to the words of that one simple song, I heard simple words...simple words my husband has been trying to point out for years. Being a "Best Friend" and being a "Best Friend to your husband" are closely related, yet totally opposite. Being a best friend/wife have a lot more detail that go into them. I know some of you out there that have a seemingly "Great" marriage may think that I am crazy for taking 11 yrs to realize this. Oh well.

Somewhere along the way, down this winding, curving, adventurous, sometimes emotionally draining road we have traveled down, we(and by we, I mean me) lost site of this. Or it could be that I just never changed when change needed to happen. We fell out of love. We became different people...or is it that we were these people all along and never knew it. You take the good with the bad. I see now that being the wife/best friend I was back then and the things that make my husband happy now are all together different. I see that a tidy house and clean laundry are still important but more importantly is that he have someone to laugh with and tell jokes/stories to. Someone who will compromise no matter what the case may be. Someone that is a partner, a confidant and a TRUE FRIEND.

Getting married as teenagers and having a child before your 20, the second at 20/21 and the third at 26/27 is difficult. You essentially grow up along-side your kids. You learn things about you that you never knew. Some good, some bad. But you learn to accept the things you can't change and change the things you can. I am a work in progress. My marriage is a work in progress and I am pretty sure it will be for a long time...forever in fact. I accept this.

I know how very blessed I am to have the amazing husband I do. My children are IN LOVE with their father. And so am I. I am blessed for all the things he has done for me. I am blessed for him standing by me in the midst of all my stupidity. I am grateful for what we have and how far we have come. I now see WHAT IT REALLY MEANS to be your spouses best friend. And that my friends, is priceless.